Modeling and Me: The not so pretty side. Part 1.

Hello guys!

As a New Year's Resolution, I'll be blogging more about my life instead of just reviews (but don't worry, there will still be tons of those and I actually have A LOT that I need to post!).
I've decided to start a mini series of blog posts called "Modeling and Me" that will basically go into my life as a "model".
I use the term "model" loosely since everyone seems to have a different definition for it.

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy the inside perspective to this side of my life. Certain parts will be pretty intimate since things like these can really get inside your head, haha.


To get a start on this, I'll begin with the "not so pretty part" of the whole modeling thing. I put "part 1" in this because this is only the first "coming to terms with yourself" part. Even then, it's not fully complete since this is all kinda spilling out. I'll come back and fix it later...maybe. :p Eventually I'll go into the whole problems with photographers/models/etc.
That's right, it's not all glitz and glamour! I'm sure you've heard that before but it doesn't really soak in until you experience it first hand.
The reason I'm starting with this is because, when you pick up a hobby/sport/career like this, you're basically opening the door to all of the things I'm about to write.

Modeling in itself is a business. You try your best to sell your self in a thought out manner so that, in the end, you'll end up benefitting.
It's not for the faint hearted at all. Why you ask? Well, let's just say that if you're thin skinned, you won't last. Between other people and yourself, it's sink or swim.

No matter where you are, you'll have competition. Wether that's internationally or locally, you'll have it.
You may start off really well being a "new face" and there will always be someone that you'll be a "new face" to. But, once you've been around and become more experienced, you start to run out of new people for YOU to work with.
This is good and bad. Good, because, CONGRATS! You've got several shoots under your belt and may have a decent portfolio. Bad because you're no longer new. No longer mysterious and shiny.

There's certain ways to combat this. You know...if you're constantly changing your look or if you're 5'9'' and have a to-die-for image.

I'm 5'2''. Definitely not the best height since there's not many agencies who will even consider the height since their "petite" section means 5'7''. This leaves me open to a lot of bad things.
"What kinds of bad things?" you may be wondering.
Perhaps you're familiar with being self conscious. Well, when you start modeling, you'll be welcoming an even worse case of it. I hate to say it but, when someone else shows up in your area that has your same "look" and is 4 inches taller than you, you can be damn sure that most, if not all, photographers will choose those extra 4 inches.
Some may be thinking now, "Well I'll just make sure no one else has my look", good try but there will ALWAYS be someone who has a similar look. They may also end up being taller, younger, etc.
You'll start to second guess everything.

Let me tell you. I've been lost in my thoughts countless times wondering if I should just give up.
I've been modeling for around 3 years now. I've worked with most of the good photographers in my area and now I'm in somewhat of a "dry" spell. Meaning that all the photographers are now working with new faces. This really made me think.
A girl ended up "coming up" who has a very similar look to the one I have. Except, she's about 5 inches taller then I am. I'm sure you can imagine where I'm going with this. I still get work here and there but how can I compete with someone who's 5'7''? I can change my makeup, my clothes, my shoes...but I can't change my height.

What do I do? Sadly...I wallow in self depression for a while, haha.
At this moment, there's nothing anyone else can do. It's about YOU deciding what to do with yourself.
After all the self bashing, downward spiraling self worth, it's up to YOU to pick yourself up.
Come to terms that there will always be that someone who's going to be better, younger, taller, thinner, etc. And be okay with it.

Believe me, it's one of the hardest things to do. This doesn't just pertain to modeling. It's life.

I love modeling. I really do. But it hasn't been a beautiful, glorious ride.
I started out alone and, by myself, I've accomplished tons of things. I didn't have a lot of guidance, no one to turn to...but that made me really think about what I was doing. I had to be smart about it.

Finding a niche is what I needed to do. And I think I've found it. Glamour. I don't need to be tall. I don't need to be super thin. But I wouldn't fool myself into thinking that I wouldn't have competition in this genre. Glamour is probably THE biggest genre in modeling.
My competition are beautiful exotic women, gorgeous blonde women, women with fake boobs, you name it.
And you know what? It NEVER gets easy.

Well...that's all I got for now. It's not complete and I'm pretty positive that it's all over the place buttttt, oh well. I'm tired. It's late...and I'm hungry...


  1. Hi, I am a new follower~

    I've also done modeling, mainly high-fashion/artistic/quirky. A friend of mine, who's a popular makeup artist, introduced me to many photographers and yeah, I also experienced that 'new face' period. Though, modeling for me was never a priority or that much of importance, that's why it never got under my skin.

    Btw, 5'2" is super short for a model >_< i wonder how you managed to get jobs, because, well, listen to my case:
    I was 16, 5'9" and with an anorexic weight of 97lbs (sidenote: I am a judo athlete, which makes me very flexible with a strong balance/legs, it came a lot in handy when I had to stand in really awkward positions with those freaking high-heels). Despite my typical model qualifications, do you know how many photographers and fashion designers told me that I am "too short!". They wanted models that were 6'+, only an inch higher than me.... FYI, I got turned down a lot when it came to runway offers, cuz of that one inch... They liked my youthful face and skinny figure with collarbones/hipbones/thigh-gap/flat tummy, I even had 'chest bones', you could see my ribs :( Though, because of my weight, I couldn't do more mature-photography because my body didn't look mature enough, i had no curves at all.

    My dad forced me to stop modeling because of my anorexia. I was born with high metabolism and I've always been skinny, but during that modeling-period, I really stressed my body. Now I am at a healthier weight of 114lbs.

    1. Hello Alice! :D

      Thank you for your story!
      I'm actually going to school so I can become a make-up artist...well...a licensed one, haha.
      Modeling for me is something that I just love doing and something that I do pretty regularly so I guess it was only natural for it to become pretty important to me, haha.

      IT IS SHORT! I'm not considered "petite" in the modeling world...just...short. xD
      I suppose the only way I can really explain it is my area there's not many asians. I know there are very well known models who are about my height but, it's all about finding a niche and what you're good at. And of course, if you work at it. Haha, I guess that's another way I've been able to get jobs is because I really put myself out there.

      That's very strange! I've noticed that a lot of people don't want female models that are 6' and that 5'9''-5'11'' is the "holy ground", haha.
      I'm very glad your dad stepped in. 97lbs is at the minimum weight of what is healthy for my height! Modeling , especially High Fashion, is definitely...stressful. I understand that people need a certain size to fit into their samples but if they need to use just a little bit of extra fabric in order to make sure they can hire a healthy model, they should do it.

      Thank you again for sharing your story!

    2. I use centimetres/metres in my country so baby I dis the conversiom wrongly. I meant 180cm, that's what they wanted whereas I am 175cm.
      Btw, a friend told me that in Milano they passed a law where the minimum weight for a model is to be 50kg.
      The photoshoots I was doing, the designers/photographers wanted the models to be sickly-looking and out-of-this-world.

      After seven months of struggle, I managed to reach 50kg and I am very very happy :) I feel much better and healthier now.

  2. Miki, coming from a fellow "Model", your work is absolutely beautiful. I remember a photographer you and I both know, forwarding a picture from your portfolio on his FB when I first started modeling and thinking, "Holy crap, that girl is gorgeous and her work is wonderful." and I am still inspired by your pictures. Don't ever give up. Things may be slow sometimes, but you ALWAYS have something to offer, never forget that. There may be a lot of pretty girls who are into modeling, but there will never be another "Miki". I wish you the best!